True love is something that when it is present, we usually know it is. It is an inexplicable feeling that we all long to experience at least once in our lives. And perhaps it is because of this incessant desire that we often confuse it with situations that have nothing to do with it. We look for love everywhere, without realizing that we may be looking in the wrong place.
There are three things in particular that we tend to misinterpret as true love in a relationship: codependency, adoration and blind love.
Normally, when we enter into a codependent relationship thinking that it is healthy, it is because we suffer from low self-esteem and we are trying to fill a void within ourselves. These relationships are characterized by being a roller coaster from which we are unable to get off. We find ourselves stuck in a cycle of extreme ups and downs that we cannot get out of, because we always think that the good will compensate for the bad.
In fact, we tend to think that this kind of situation will end and that we will really find some stability at some point. Spoiler: this is usually not the case, because we feel attached to our partner in a way that is not healthy, always needing their approval and support, and never letting ourselves be guided by our own instinct.
The problem with this type of relationship is that one usually suffers from high self-esteem, and the other usually has a manipulative tendency, acting selfishly or with self-destructive behaviors.
Perhaps of these three types of relationships, it is the one that most resembles love, but it is not love at all. It is actually a false love that stimulates the ego of one of the people in the couple. You probably know you are in such a relationship but you lie to yourself. Adoration is a very passionate fixation on someone.
It is often accompanied by the so-called love bombing, a tool that is often used to emotionally blackmail someone, because we begin to give them over-love attention, through gifts, flattery, conversations about the future ahead of time and ultimatums.
When one person has adoration for another, it is often accompanied by deep insecurity. But why is it not love if we really like the other person? Basically because those who practice love bombing are not really in love with their partner, but are seeking to prove to themselves that they are good at relationships, no matter with whom.
The blind love #
When love is blind, there is excessive enthusiasm on both sides of the couple. That is one of the reasons why it can be confused with true love. It is basically a strong feeling of love or admiration, almost obsessive, for someone. It is very difficult to be aware that this is not a healthy relationship, but even so, they tend to be very short-lived.
Of the three types of relationship, this is the one that has the easiest time to become true love, but it requires restraint, and establishing good communication between the two.